Every woman knows a woman like her. She’s the one that saunters casually into a man’s life, has her fun, then rips his heart out and leaves him after emptying his wallet. You look at her and you know she’s all about sex.
She looks so good in a micro-mini skirt and thigh high boots it’s as if they were invented for her. She probably rocks scandalous, gasp-inducing garter belts and corsets in the bedroom, too.
You know the type.
She causes men to salivate the moment she walks into a room, strutting her stuff like she owns the place.
She sleeps around. Everybody knows it. She doesn’t even try to hide her sexual appetites.
She’s your wild, sexy, flirty, flighty counterpart. She’s the bad girl you secretly envy.
“Many a woman has had the frustrating experience of loving a man who is oblivious to her because he is swept up in the drama of loving a bad girl, instead,” says psychiatrist and writer Carole Lieberman.
What Makes Bad Girls So Sexy?
On the surface, the bad girl’s charisma can be both intimidating and baffling to other women. Not all men are boneheads, after all. The best ones are smart as whips. They know exactly the type of woman they need for a happy, healthy, loving relationship.
But even the smartest guy is unlikely to choose the safe, wholesome, church-going girl when there’s a bad girl stalking around.
In a room full of good girls, he’ll fight anyone for the girl who will betray him, mess with his head, and break his heart.
So, just what is it that makes a bad girl so alluring?
“Bad is naughty, and naughty is sexy.”
For many men, the bad girl is extremely seductive. Bad is wayward. Bad is uncontrollable. Bad is deliciously wild.
When cleverly utilized, these qualities can be irresistible. So much so that in the everyday language of the street, men have turned the word “bad” into a synonym for “sexy.” So, when she walks by, we hear:
“Damn, she’s so bad I’d kill to spend a night with her.”
Dating coach Joshua Pompey and writer Paul Hudson say a big part of the attraction is the bad girl’s wantonness, which men find incredibly appealing.
“When men think of bad girls, they imagine a woman who is sexually free, open for adventure, and just doesn’t care what other people think of her,” says Pompey.
“These are women who play by their own rules and will try just about anything once.”
In short, men can do bad – or naughty – things to a bad woman. She’ll not only agree to them, she’ll probably enjoy herself.
“Bad is naughty, and naughty is sexy,” says Hudson. “Good, on the other hand, sounds predictable.”
Bad girls often look sexy and attractive.
Washington-based psychologist Jill Weber says that, from a very early age, girls learn to make other people feel happier. They learn to value good behavior, and because of that, they hear praise more often.
But then there are girls who cherish their appearance more than they do the idea of ‘goodness.’ And it’s precisely because they lavish more attention on their appearance that they often look better.
“You won’t spot a bad girl wearing sweatpants in public,” says writer Jillian Kramer for Glamour magazine.
“Rather, her outfits scream sex appeal, and she’s perfected her smoky eye application to jealousy-inducing perfection.”
Because she puts so much effort into her physical appearance, the bad girl doesn’t need to ask any man if she looks good. She knows she looks good – and she is never afraid to show it.
Her skirts are shorter, the cut of her dress is lower, and her heels are higher. That adds to her already smoking hot appeal.
“Nothing can make a plain girl look more beautiful than self-confidence,” says Lieberman.
The bad girl is a master seductress.
The bad girl is a cunning seductress. Because she does not seek serious relationships, she can focus solely on sexual gratification.
She has learned to enjoy the thrill of being the coveted object of men’s desires, says psychologist Leon Seltzer for Psychology Today.
Lieberman shares the same opinion.
When a bad girl tries to steal your man, she will do so not because she wants him, but because she can.
If he manages to resist her advances, she will not sit at home and mope. Instead, she will keep herself visible by going out and having a good time.
“A bad girl,” says Lieberman, “is like a fisherman who lets the bait dangle close to the fish’s mouth and then pulls it away a little bit, then lets it dangle and pulls it away … until he can’t help but swallow it hook, line, and sinker.”
While it may seem like the bad girl has it all, she does not. She has experienced pain and betrayal, too – perhaps more than most.
The bad girl oftentimes becomes who she is after being betrayed by a number of men, starting with her father, says Lieberman.
“A bad girl has taken her heart off her sleeve and has hardened it,” she adds.
This actually works to her advantage in attracting men. Men are drawn to tough women with looks and charisma – and a bad girl has all that in abundance.
The key is in her attitude. She is confident about her appearance and is candid about what she wants.
What Nice Girls Can Learn from Bad Girls
Without a doubt, the foremost lesson nice girls can learn from bad girls is a healthy attitude toward sex.
“A bad girl gets what she wants because she goes for it,” Kramer says.
“Good girls can get what they want too, by identifying their desires and being open to expressing them.”
Of course, the bad girl’s most powerful spell is the promise of hot sex, which she uses to her advantage. While few would want to be as predatory – and you don’t have to be – Pompey says it helps women to be confident about their sexuality.
“The best thing a nice girl can do to attract a man is to demonstrate alluring qualities a bad girl has, without actually being a bad girl,” says the New York City dating expert. “Know what men want from women.”
What’s your story? Are you the ‘smoking hot’ bad girl, the wanna be or just an observer at the back of the room? Why not share your tale here?